Holy moly! It's already mid-April!? I can't believe it has been so long since I've blogged here! I know, I know, that's one of the cardinal rules of blogging-- "if you're a little inconsistent or take a mini-hiatus here or there, don't apologize for your absence and draw attention to it. Just hop back on the horse and get on with it."
Yea yea, whatevs.
I've thought about writing a post many times over the past few weeks but could never quite muster the motivation to do it. I wasn't inspired. I never thought, "Ooo I should blog about that!" or "I want to record that so I can remember it later!" it was just… crickets. Something was off, I had lost my mojo.
When running a business that is mostly online, it is easy to curate your life and make it look fun, glamorous, or (dare I say….) easy on a daily basis. You get to pick and choose what you share with your followers, edit those less-than-flattering photos of yourself, and make a 10-minute work session appear to be an ultra-productive all-day business extravaganza.
It's not that we're lying about our day-to-day life as business owners, or that we're purposefully trying to present a false image. It's just…polished up a bit. We're simply editing out the boring, mundane, tedious drudgery or the epic fails that are mixed in with the fabulous parts of being a (super rad) entrepreneur. In other words, we're sparing you the "blah" days and showering you with the "hurrah!" ones (you're welcome!).
As I look back over the past few weeks, perhaps it was just filled with a bit more "blah" than "hurrah" and therefore, left me uninspired and in a funk. Apologies for my absence, but I'm happy to report that some recent, super fun custom projects, sunnier weather, a few days off, a new hairdo, and re-written goals have set me back on track (it's the little things…)
Here's a confession:
Most days I am absolutely head over heels in love with my job. Most days I have so many ideas that my hand can barely keep up with my brain as I jot them all down in my sketchbook. Most days I'm counting my lucky stars to be able to do what I love everyday, on my on schedule, and on my own terms. Most days running my own business full-time is the greatest thing I've ever done in my life.
And some days… it seems like the worst.
It's challenging. It's overwhelming. It's terrifying. Sometimes I feel lost. Sometimes I don't know what the heck I'm doing. Sometimes I screw up, drop the ball, or forget an email. Sometimes I think about how much easier it would be to clock in, clock out, get a paycheck, weekends off, paid vacation…
At times, I question whether it's all worth it.
But, here's the thing: There is nothing in the world I'd rather do. Running this business it the only time I've ever been so certain about the path that i'm on. I'm meant to do this.
I've discovered more about myself in the past few years than I ever imagined I would. I have celebrated small victories and epic progress. I have met amazing people, learned from some of my heroes, and found meaning in helping those who are just starting out.
I learn something new every. single. day.
I am growing, I am stretching. I am proving to myself that I am capable of greatness. Of dreaming AND following through.
I am doing the damn thing.
And so, ruts will come and ruts will go. This won't be the last time I question this whole crazy adventure (and my sanity!). It won't be the last time I'm feeling unmotivated, uncreative, unworthy. I will continue to wish for things to happen faster, for successes to be bigger, for it all to just be a little easier.
But at the end of the day, I will always know, that it's definitely worth it.